A Laser to Give the Universe a Hernia?

Think back to 2008, when the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) was about to be switched on for the first time. Remember all those "micro-black hole," "spacetime-ripping," "stranglet-creating" doomsday headlines?

Although much of the hype was complete nonsense, those pesky physicists are at it again; they want to build a laser so powerful that it will literally rip spacetime apart. 

The headlines write themselves.

What's more, by giving spacetime a hernia, it is hoped that theorized "ghost particles" may spill from the fissure, providing evidence for the hypothesis that extra-dimensions exist and the vacuum of space isn't a vacuum at all -- it is in fact buzzing with virtual particles.

Such a laser could also help in understanding the nature of dark matter, the "missing" mass that is thought to pervade the entire observable Universe.

Big "Frickin' Laser Beams"

As we all know, all good megalomaniac plans for world domination start with lasers (not necessarily attached to sharks' heads). But the lasers planned by the Extreme Light Infrastructure Ultra-High Field Facility, known as "ELI," would concentrate 200 petawatts of power -- that's 100,000 times the world's energy production -- and fire it at a single point for less than a trillionth of a second.

The combined power of 10 separate lasers would be focused down to a very small volume, creating conditions more extreme than in the center of our sun. It is hoped (yes, hoped) that this immense energy will punch a hole through the fabric of spacetime itself, heralding a new era of exotic physics discovery.

No one sees an issue with this? Maybe I'm just a pessimist, but we only have one planet, and no feasible way to escape it if we somehow manage to destroy it, and we're trying to, on our only planets surface, rip apart the fabric of existence itself just to see what happens?

I totally appreciate the curiosity and search for knowledge, but maybe this isn't the best experiment to try. Seriously people. This is tried a lot in science fiction. Many, many variations on a theme. And in every variation, it goes completely wrong. And do you know why? Because it's a terrible idea. Never mind how cool this many super powerful lasers is on the surface, it's a bad idea past the awesome 'splosion factor.


And people wonder why the public defunds science.

That said, if we do destroy the planet, I hope this monstrosity makes the Death Star sound, and we go out Alderaan style. I might forgive them if that's how it plays out.


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